Two Little Words

I recently read a book, the premise of which has stayed with me. I turn to it whenever I am feeling low, disappointed, dispirited or sad. It is about a lawyer who, finding his life to be unsatisfactory on many levels, picked up his pen and began to write thank you notes - to anyone and everyone. In the act of committing to writing a personal thank you note to someone different every day for a year, he came to realize that he did have an awful lot to be thankful for and the life that had seemed so wanting somehow changed to become all that he could have wished it to be.

They say if you can’t change your circumstances, change your attitude. Maybe that’s all it takes. It certainly isn’t a bad resolution to be more thankful for all the wonderful things in life, and even for the very wonder of being alive. The timing seems right too as the national zeitgeist has become fraught with despondency of late. I know how much I love to receive a handwritten note among all the unwanted credit card offers, coupons, flyers, catalogs and bills that crowd my inbox every day. The same goes for a personal email. The ratio of emails generated by computers to those written by real people in my inbox is becoming alarmingly high. And the joy is even greater when the note – however it arrives – is written with the sole purpose of someone saying thank you. Two little words, but how much they can say.

My favorite online sites for electronic communications are Jacqui Lawson where you find magical e-cards that entertain their recipients for hours and Paperless Post for some very classy electronic stationary.  Expressionery and American Stationery provide a wide range of customized stationery and check out Tiny Prints and Shutterfly if you want to make use of your personal photos in your stationery. Or pick up a pen and write it on a post-it. Beautiful stationery is the icing on the cake – but in this endeavor I think it’s very much the thought that counts.

The Curse of the Compliment

I recently had a meeting with a client that I hadn’t seen in a little over a year. These meetings usually involve several people, some of whom I have met before, some of whom are new. When you do a lot of these it’s hard to remember all the names and faces and more than once I have put my foot it in by brightly saying “It’s nice to meet you” as I greet someone who then points out that we’ve met before – maybe more than once!

I hate to appear rude and make people feel uncomfortable so while I work on a) having a better memory and b) keeping better records of my meetings so I can review them before I make return visits, I’ve learned to use more noncommittal phrases such as “So nice to see you” or “So glad you could join us today” instead of referring in any way to whether or not I’ve met them before. Not only is it good business to make people feel that they are important enough for you to remember them – it’s just good manners. And the purpose of manners is to make everyone feel more comfortable.

Which brings me to the subject of this post! In this meeting a woman walked in a little later than four of her male colleagues who were already seated around the conference table. And as I stood to shake her hand and introduce myself she made it perfectly clear that we had met before by saying “Hi. We met when you visited last year. But you’ve lost a lot of weight since then.”

Every eye in the room now turned to look at me.....