Why I Blog on Ordinary Days

A few days ago after my sister discovered my blog - she asked me why I was blogging. She said she "got" how just the act of writing about my life and my experiences helped me to process them but she was curious as to why I wanted to do it publicly. Part of it is the commitment factor. Even though I am a writer, I have never been able to consistently keep a journal. And yet when I look back at all the photo books I have created - particulalrly the ones I have done since Liam was born - I see how much they provide me with a link to thoughts and feelings that would otherwise be forgotten. Writing does that even better - and blogging is like publishing, which I know how to do and know I will stick with. So that is one reason why I blog.

The other is just that, as I get older, I long for the sense of community that comes from being with people that see the world the way I do and all the joy that comes from building friendships and helping and supporting others through everything that life throws at us. In the course of my day I come across a lot of things that make me laugh, make me cry, make me angry, make me wistful..... and my blog is my way of sharing them in the hope that they bring joy to someone else, or help them cope with something they are finding challenging.

One of my dear friends is a lady I get to see all too little as she lives in New Hampshire and we are both busy working moms so there is never as much time to chat as we would like. But she touches my heart each time we speak - or even email. This week she sent me this. The Gift of Ordinary Days needs no introduction. I loved it. I hope you do too.

LOL - Now That's Funny

The perils of an older generation adapting to new technologies.....

Fun with Flipper

In the last week of the school summer vacation I took Liam on a little mini vacation down in the Florida Keys. We’ve been to Key West a couple of times before but this time we stayed at a resort on Duck Key – which is only about half way down – 10 miles north of Marathon. The main draw card for us was the chance to interact with dolphins – and as you can see from the photos below we got to do just that.

At first they said they only had room for one more in the program on the last day of our trip – so I booked it for Liam, being a little worried that he wouldn’t trot off without me and follow all the instructions properly if I wasn’t there (typical mom huh?!)  I needn’t have worried because he wasn’t the slightest bit perturbed but just after they got started with the “class room” which is the 10 minutes in which they go over the drill of what to do and what not to do – the lady who had checked us in came out to me and said they had room for me if I wanted to do it. I immediately said “Oh no that’s alright my son seems OK” and then I thought “What am I thinking? Why does he get to have all the fun?” and so I scurried in there as fast as my feet would take me. We were just on the dock giving the dolphins and commands (and lots of fish.) They have a swimming interaction program but Liam is too young for that yet.

It was still great. There is something just magical about those creatures. The trainers were giving us lots of practical information about the dolphins – their life span, their size, their speed, what they eat – but my head was filled with tales of mermaids and shipwrecks and every hour I spent in the water as a kid swimming with my feet together pretending to have a tail after watching reruns of “Flipper.”

Liam was suitably impressed – particularly with the fact that a couple of the dolphins had pink tummies. We may be growing out of a few things but we’re still secretly big on pink. He talked about Twister and Sherman for days and can still remember the names of all the other dolphins we saw long after I’ve forgotten them. I have a feeling that those few moments of touching that slippery, smooth skin will stand out in his mind long after everything else in his ten week summer vacation has faded. I can’t wait till he is old enough for us to go swimming with them!

Batten Down the Hatches

Interactive Hurricane History

My thoughts are with all my friends on the East Coast dealing with Irene this weekend. Thankfully the storm is weakening but it remains a threat and they are in for a wet and windy weekend at best. My first experience of a hurricane was Wilma in 2005. She arrived in Florida literally a few days after I did and definitely had me thinking " Good lord - what have I done moving here?" Ulimately my house had little damage - but the neighborhood and town were hit hard and the memories won't soon be forgotten.

If you click on the link above - you get a very cool interactive map from the Wall Street Journal that shows the paths of all the hurricanes in the last six years. Let's hope Irene does nothing to make her more memorable than the countless ones here we barely even know about.

Floating Football

Take a couple of minutes out of your day to watch this youtube video - click on the picture below. It's guaranteed to make you smile and maybe even wipe a tear from the corner of your eye. Perfect antidote to the usual breakfast serving of fear, disgust and depression that comes our way by virtue of the morning news. My friend Jill - who is an inspiration in and of herself - first posted it to her facebook page. Her daughter's first grade teacher had showed it to them in class. We are blessed to have so many wonderful, enthusiastic, creative people who have dedicated themselves to educating our children.

Yet another reason to feel good about your day. Enjoy!

At Last - A Shirt That Fits...

There seems to be this underlying assumption that it is a wonderful thing to be ...err... well endowed. I think this one falls into the "grass is always greener" category. If you haven't been able to go without a bra since before you were a teenager, the rationale for thinking this can be kind of lost on you as it definitely has some drawbacks. Skimpy summer tops with shoe string straps - not for you. Tight fitting t-shirts - don't bother doing your make up 'cause no one will be looking at your face. Boob tubes - dream on. Even with a strapless bra you'll look like you swallowed a sausage sideways.

Seriously - for all the social admiration that supposedly goes with being a member of the over-the-shoulder-boulder club the fashion industry does a lousy job of catering to the curvy figure, particularly in the realm of business appropriate clothing. Victoria's secret seems to be that she has channeled her inner porn star so well she's made a career of it and she doesn't have much left to say to those of us with more mundane jobs.

Actaully it's not lingerie that I find the most challenging - it's blouses. Shirts. Any top with a button front. There are just precious few that fit well, don't gape and yet don't have to be so big that you feel like you stole it from your man's closet. And so I was delighted to find that someone who had expereinced similar challenges all her life actually went and did something about it. She used her tailoring background to found CarissaRose (www.carissarose.com) - a website that sells ladies shirts (and a couple of dresses) tailored to the top-heavy. I can attest to how well the shirts fit and it's true what they say - it really does make you look slimmer to wear clothes tailored to your shape.

Carrying Work Papers With Style

I'm always on the lookout for hand bags that can (sort of, kind of, maybe) do double duty as brief cases so I don't have to carry two bags with me. I picked this one up online at the Steinmart website. Cheap as chips but it has a cute vintage vibe going with lace panels that makes it a bit friendlier than your typical document tote. And it is perfectly sized for carting the inevtiable wad of papers/books/magazines that I need and comes with all the right pockets for keys, wallet, glasses, iphone, blackberry... when did I become such a gadget gal?

A Fact of Life

Farewell MOPS



All grown up and heading out the door to Kindergarten

It’s a big day in our household – it’s Liam’s first day of kindergarten. We did “meet the teacher” for an hour yesterday morning and all went well. He is actually going back to the same school where he went for pre-K last year and so not only is the school familiar, his old classroom (and beloved teacher) is right next door and many of the same kids from last year are in his class. But some of his best friends are not – and he knew that – and he admitted to feeling “funny in my tummy about kindergarten” on the drive to the campus. Happily that had changed to “I’m so excited” by the time we left and he liked his new teacher (she has long hair – in Liam’s eyes that confers god-like status J.) It’s going to be a great year.

And it’s the end of an era. As the mom of a kindergartner – I’m no longer a member of the MOPS sorority – Mothers of Pre-Schoolers. I feel like I’m coming out of a siege. Being a MOPS has been the most satisfying, delightful, joyful time of my life – but it has also been five and a half long years of juggle, juggle, juggle when what you are trying to hold up with one hand is a baby so you’re pretty damn sure you don’t want to drop it! In the other hand you have your only visible means of financial support – your job – which also in my case happens to be a career that I have dedicated myself to and nurtured for 22 years (really, it was that long?) prior to being a mother. So you’re not too keen to see that lying in shards on the floor either. “No problem” you tell yourself as your gird your loins (after labor you actually know what your loins are!) and get ready for the fray – “millions of women do this, I can too.” Five and a half years in, you are like millions of women – you are doing it, but you never quite stop wondering – how?

Fact is you just don’t do anything as well as you would like to on an ongoing basis – and you learn to accept that cause if you don’t you are a crazy, stressed out, constantly cranky working mom that nobody – including you – wants to be with. You learn to laugh at yourself a lot more. Really – it’s funny rather than mortifying when you realize that you: are wearing your underwear inside out, wore a racer-back bra under a dress with a deep-V back to a business meeting, ran out of gas because you forgot to fuel the car, forgot to pack your toiletry bag for a business trip, turned up with a present for a girl instead of a boy to one of the endless pre-school birthday parties that you get invited to because who knew that Trace was also a boy’s name, missed crazy sock day at preschool (yet again) because you lost the preschool monthly calendar (yet again), left your kid’s lunch box sitting on the dining room table, only realized you had left your wallet at home after the check-out girl had rung up that huge trolley of groceries, etc. etc. etc.

For the first three or four years you often wonder how it is that every other mom seems to be doing it better. By the fifth year you hopefully have at least one or two mom friends (the fact that sometimes becoming a mom requires a whole changing of the guard in your own friends will be the subject of a post all of its own.) Those precious mom friends will admit that their life seems perfect just by virtue of smoke and mirrors and that they too spend a lot of time wondering how everyone else is doing it with what seems like less effort and less chaos. It makes you feel better – though I’m not sure why. It doesn’t reduce any of the challenges in your life – but it does help you feel as though you are not constantly failing the grade. And the one piece of advice that these women all share is that “it does get easier as your kids get older.”

And so it does. As I prepare to go and wake Liam and do my impression of Nemo the fish jumping all over his father shouting “First day of school, first day of school” I know that I can: go and take a shower without having to wheel his high chair into the bathroom so I can keep my eye on him; walk the dogs with him walking beside me instead of having to deal with a stroller at the same time; feed the dogs without worrying that he’ll crawl over and eat the dog food; tell him to go and put on the clothes that are laid out on his bed and by the time I have repeated myself five times he may have actually done it; and sit patiently in the front seat of the car while he struggles (but ultimately succeeds) to put on the seat belt around his booster seat by himself.

But best of all I can still pretend to be the tickle monster when I wake him up, cuddle him while he has his morning milk, and kiss him at least half a dozen times before I say goodbye to him for the day. There are some things about being a MOPS that I never want to give up.

In the beginning.....

Growing....

...growing.....Photo credit: LifeXpressions

....growing....Photo credit: LifeXpressions

Art and Attitudes - Pre-K Style

There is a wonderful art association in our town that holds art camps all throughout the summer, which Liam just loves. Week-long camps that are divided into half day sessions – they are perfect for the attention span of 4- and 5-year olds. And they teach them to make some really cute stuff. Lots and lots of really cute stuff! The only downside – if you could even call it that – to this is that they bring home that really cut stuff by the trunk load and by the end of the summer your house ends up looking like the behind the scenes shot of a disorganized pre-school.

Liam, naturally, is very attached to all of his wonderful creations and wants to keep them and – much as I love a pristine home – consigning them straight to the dust bin seems too hard-hearted even for me. So they hang around for a while – just long enough for the attachment to fade just a touch – and then we effect a compromise. Liam gets to pick the three pieces he really can’t bear to part with and all the rest get digitized (I scan or photograph them) and then they are given a fond farewell.

The photos make their way into his annual Shutterfly album and last year we had so much we even published a special Shutterfly book – Liam’s Art Alphabet. We assigned one letter of the alphabet to each art work and plugged the holes (we did have to get a bit creative with naming some of the objects – how many things actually start with ‘X’) until we had all 26 letters covered. Liam took the book to his first show and tell for pre-K very proudly. It’s a great idea all round. We get to keep an accurate memory of all his wonderful youthful creative in a form that Mommy can neatly put on the bookshelf -  (which is much more to her liking than constantly trying to work out how to dust a paper machier fish!)

Arm Candy

Last season I bought this beautiful bag from Brahmin. It never fails to elicit compliments whenever I carry it. There's a wide choice of similarly gorgeous pieces of arm candy in this season's collection. Yum!

Runway vs. Runaway

“If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”

The quotation above from the English artist and designer William Morris is more than a century out of date and was written about decorating houses, not choosing clothes, but I find it to be equally applicable - particularly in this age of celebrity designers. I have a love/hate relationship with the world of fashion. On the one hand I love the ongoing process of developing my own style and choosing just the right pieces to bring a look together and the whole fashion industry is an integral part of that. But at its core I believe it is an industry that’s misogynistic – less about helping women be comfortable in their own skin than in pushing them to purchase the latest designer-labeled “it” item in the belief that it will confer a sense of panache that they are currently lacking. It’s less a celebration of women than a manipulation of them.

That doesn’t mean I don’t “indulge” it just means I do so in the complete knowledge that the motivation behind all the magazines, catalogs, blogs, books, TV shows, stores etc. is to get me to buy – and hopefully buy the item with the highest mark-up, not the one that is necessarily suited to me, my lifestyle and what I already have in my closet. I’ve found that as you get older it’s easier to ignore all the noise. It really is true that you can become more comfortable with yourself and realize that there is less to what people look like than society would have you believe. It’s not that you don’t care what you look like – you just don’t believe that the latest runway trend that looks kind of weird on the pasty-skinned anorexic model in the magazine shoot is going to look anything but ridiculous on you. Even if it is the latest designer look.

There is no shortage of beautiful clothing and accessories that help a woman put together her statement of “this is who I am today” and look fabulous without shouting from the roof tops which brand she is wearing. The celebrity trend with designer clothes and accessories has become so ubiquitous that for some people it’s all about the logo, not the item. That’s not style – that’s advertising. And you’re paying them to do it! Think about it……